Hello League, I am Dennis Prager here to tell you that the smell coming from my pants is from THE LEFT, who have soiled my underwear once again

Food for thought

Makes you think!

Confused?

Go ahead and read about a specific Kansas Chiefs superfan.

Memes never die

I don't fuckin care if the Dolphins and Bills played each other over a week ago.

I'VE GOT MEMES TO SHARE.

Simply the Best-a-gon

Praise Hexagons, and fuck squares.

OH MY GOD IT'S NINTENDO SIXTYFOUR

I hope everyone was blessed last weekend, and didn't get a visit from Krampus the terrifying, N64:

jaggin off at the meadowlands

People actually chose to either:

• Attend this game
• Watch this game

And to those people I have to ask: Why do you believe no one loves you?

battle of the birds

Statement game by Pro-Bowl Alternate, Tyler Huntley

Also by Greg Roman, if his statement were, "fire me into the sun"

blue kitty battle

Quite the Caturday battle.

One that I watched zero minutes of. One that I had no fucking rooting interest in. One that I admittedly give no shit about since the Lions lost.

But damn, this is a great win for fans of The Darnold.

THE GREAT PANTHERS NATION IS ON THE VERGE OF SAVING THE NFL. FAKER MAYFIELD CONTINUES TO PRETEND LIKE HE IS QUALIFIED TO LEAD THE EVIL LEFT COAST RAMS, MEANWHILE OUR GREAT #GEQBUS GOES UNDERAPPRECIATED AND DISRESPECTED.

GEQBUS DELIVERS A YUGE VICTORY OVER JARED GOOF AND THE LYIN LIONS TO MOVE TO 6-9 (NICE). SHADY BRADY'S DIVISION GRIP IS WEAKENING.

bill's n bear's

This didn't have to be on television.

SAin'ts vs. Cleveland Traded 3 firsts for a rapist

How about that, it turns out NO can stop Watson.

Texans couldn't be happier about this game.

And while it is pretty fucking bad for Cleveland given that they traded for a rapist starting QB that took, 3 first rounders, 1 second, and 1 third rounder for, and then gave a guaranteed $250 million quarterback

At least it can't get any wor-.

Oh fuckin hell,

hahaha, get fucked browns. god damn poverty franchise. stop ruining the lives of dedicated fans.

hawks n chefs

I know I know, the Chefs were involved in this game so it should have been fun!

But since I didn't watch one single fucking minute of it because I was punching myself in the nuts with brass knuckles and watching the Patriots game, my care-guage couldn't be any lower.

So in lieu of that, I'll post a last-minute entrant into the Best Memery of 2022,

gmen n vikery

I refuse to jump on the Vikings bandwagon until they actually complete their run and win a Super Bowl.

With the history of so many Minnesota teams with seemingly limitless potential during the regular season that have ended in absolutely brutal losses in the playoffs, why would anyone that isn't a fan of the franchise think they'll make it anywhere?

All you're going to do is die a horrible, heart-related death.

And no, all the games they've played do not rule. They're fuckin embarrassments.

Cincy Burrows vs. Not-all-that-greatriots

This is definitely my reaction to finding myself watching another brutal Patriots loss,

That entire first fucking half was one of those most pathetic Patriots gameplay I've seen since maybe the 2006 playoff game against the Ravens where Ray Rice started the game off with a god damn 60+ yard touchdown run. New England was god damn run off the field by Baldimore that day - and Cincy

At least it's the Holiday Season and I had a chance to make a last minute ask to Santa on behalf of the Patriots,,

As you can imagine, it did not work out.

What's wild to me is how the script has flipped since the great "We're onto Cincinatti" meme from 2014.

If it were ~8 years ago, the Bengals absolutely lose this game, and the Patriots pull it off on their way to 13 wins and a bye-week in the playoffs.

...

I miss those days..

Like when we WOULDN'T CALL FOUR FUCKING DRAWS IN A ROW. WHAT THE FUUUUUUCK.

Oh, and then THREE SCREENS WITH A BOMB.

What the fuck is going on, why can't we just fucking get rid of this dipshit?

texxxans vs. tittans

bears 🤝 jags
huge Lovie Claus fans

I'm fairly certain that Vrabel is in fact, a good NFL head coach.

But what the fuck was this shit?? Belichick would never.

not-the-state-of-washington football team vs. was that a niners* in there?

All hail, BCBrock.

Let's turn Jorts Stadium into Mr. Relevant's Neighborhood.

iggles vs. america's team

Kinda wished I was able to see this one. Eagles gave up a 3rd and 30? Daaamn.

Just scoping out the boxscore is fucking WILD:

		| First	| Second | Third | Fourth | Final
Cowboys	|   7   |   10   |   10  |   13   | 40
Eagles	|   10  |   10   |   7   |   7    | 34

God damn. I wish I had some Minshew memery but ... I wanna just move on.

raiduhs vs. steeeers

Stupid fuckin broadcast not showing the Franco Harris memorial.

Here's the memorial the NFL decided they'd rather skip in lieu of generating just a little more ad revenue.

Sure, it's the NFL and none of us are surprised - but the NFL has been all over the Steelers' fuckin dongs given it being the 50th anniversary of that fucking immaculate deception reception play.

The NFL never ceases to make me hate the fact that I keep watching.

packpackpack vs. phinsian

hahahah

get fucked miami

dipshits from denver vs. charge FUCKIN RAMS

Oh my god, this fucking game. Christmas Day. Two Tanking Toilet Titans squaring off.

Absolutely should have been a complete dumpster fire, but thankfully Nick swooped down and saved the day!

No no no, not Nick "firing babies from my flesh" Cannon, but the one we all grew up fondly watching.

buccos vs. cardinos

God fucking damn it I love Tom Brady. It's so much fun to see him run those game-winning drives.

But .. they could just try scoring more points during regulation and winning the games instead of this shit. I dunno, no one's asked me but that's what I think.

That and making Brady throw 40+ every game is probably not all that sustainable. Actually he's thrown the ball 671 times in 15 games. 44 per game.

charge vs. colts

Heyyyyyy, Chargers make the playoffs for the first time under Hebert's Chocolate's tenure.

The Colts. Ohhh those colts colts colts colts colts. Please no more primetime spotlights on this team,

Recap(s)

W - 145.64 The Dakstreet Boys

L - 91.72 The Impossible Kid

Welp. That totally sucked for The Impossible Kid:

A goose-egg from Valdes-Scantling.
Negative points from BDN.
20.70 from Fournette on the bench.

But it's a tough ask to overcome this fuckin Dakstreet team. Even with a pedestrian 10 from Justin Fields and 4 from Josh Jacobs, this motherfucker still hits 145 and change.

Shit man, despite that, The Dakstreet Boys were only two points from their projected total. What a fuckin wagon. I feel like a fairly unsung-but-not-really-underrated-at-all player is Eekeler. Just goes out and nabs double-digits every week. Those 16+ point projections are always so exclusive to the most elite of fantasy footballers.

Anyway, the point I'm trying to get at is that Dakstreet will take an absolutely herculean effort to stop. But of all the participants of this league, there happens to be one guy that comes to mind.

W - 151.76 Seyton Manning

L - 103.46 91 Shrimp

What a fuckin win. Love it. We've got ourselves one of the most epically proportioned championship battles in a long, long time. I think. Fuck.

I should really know given that I have literally written about every single one of them since ~2012.

Anyway, while 91 Shrimp at least topped trip-digs, he had no fucking chance against this absolute beastly 151.76 point performance by Seyton.

Sure, Peoples-Jones couldn't muster a single whole point, and Mark Andrews had a massively meh 6.00 points, this fucker's roster still grabbed 20 or more from three different players and 12+ from everyone else. Fucking crazy.

I can't wait for the eventual 68 to 104 matchup where it's over by the afternoon games.

COME ON FANTASY GODS, GIVE US A BATTLE FOR THE AGES.

Fin.

And that's the end of that chapter.

We got our championship matchup and it couldn't be anymore awesomer than it is right now. Again: congrats to both of you lucky fuckers. Best of luck in the championship!

As for the rest of yous .. as well as the two would-be champions: hope you all had a wonderfully merry and festive holiday weekend! Weather was chilly up in the Northeast, but it made for nothing but cozy good times with good people and family.

Much love to all you guys, have a wonderful New Year!