Say Pizza to Drugs

In College I Studied Abroad or Two

Big fan of that NFL Europe thing. I loved the Amsterdam Admirals, perfect team to play against so I could earn the maximum amount of Madden Cards as I could.

But I guess Germany has better singers or some shit,

POLITICS

NFL

Falcons @ Panthers

I liked the move better when it was called a "Slip 'n Slide" in NBA Street Vol. 2.

Seefalken @ Freibeuter

Definitely up there when it comes to United States invasions of Germany. Easily in the top 3.

GAME OF THE FUCKING YEAR: Vikes @ Bills

What an incredible demonstration of how fucking cursed these two franchises are. Both are 0-4 in Super Bowls, and were dominant during their respective eras when they made the big game.

I swear to God that at the very end of regulation when Kirk didn't end up converting on that Goalline 4th down QB sneak, the Bills were all like "oh, you think you're fucking cursed? We lost four Super Bowls in a fucking row" then proceeded to,

Run from it, dread it, destiny comes all the same. And the Bills are destined to literally kill their own fans.

But not before allowing some incredible highlights! ..From wide receivers!

Holy butt pucker.

Can't wait for the power rankings!

Lions @ Daaaaa Brrrrs

What the fuck is going on with the Lions, and as part of a larger discussion, the NFC North??

Lions were an OT away from being in second fucking place at 3-6. They have an actual winning streak. I hope their fans remembered that is cause for celebration - it's been quite a long time, so I'm sure they most likely forgot what to do.

Bears have themselves yet another incredible win. Justin Fields has like, a pack of dawgs in him, and that QB is turning the Bears into a must-see TV event the likes of which we haven't seen since Tony Kornheiser was on Monday Night Football.

To have a franchise QB like that while not really caring about the season as a whole must be a very different and weird feeling for Bears fans - and it's only going to get better if they can overcome two truly awful franchises in Houston and Vegas, and get that inside track for Wembanyama and that 2023 first overall pick.

Deshaun Watson sexually assaulted 25+ women @ Phins

What the fuck. So do the Dolphins have a consistent team now? Their offense can score points. They just picked up a deadline-beating Chubb. The fuck. I don't want to deal with a relevant Miami team. They blew it with Marino, but I doubt they'll make those same idiotic, Schula-inspired, cocaine-driven, Dolphin dipshit moves.

Let that coaching carousel keeeeeeep going.

Donkeys @ Titans

Russell Wilson. Done? Well done? Charred?

It's week 10 and he looks fucking awful.

It's great, isn't it? Just wonderful. And I can't wait for the Broncos to do the wrong thing with Hackett.

Tejans @ Gigantes

So here's my theory on the Texans:

There is no heaven or hell that is mutually exclusive to the current reality we inhabit. What that means, is that we all exist on the same plane/in the same universe as those who have passed and now are bound by Heaven and/or Hell.

Why do I say this? Because you can't convince me that Texans fans are simply the eternally damned. Being forced to watch whatever you want to call this team every weekend is easily one of the worst punishments any human would have to suffer - and it'd make total sense that the eternal punishment for sinful behavior would be to watch this absolutely horrific franchise.

Ever since their inception with PTSDavid Carr this franchise is simply a conduit for Hellfire and Brimstone.

And look at that! Hell got itself a new wide receiver in Kenny Dropallday,

Giants at 7-2 are just another awful team at the top, just like the 8-1 Vikings.

So much trash at the top of the NFL standings. Pretty incredible.

Jiggies @ Chefs

JuJu ded.

RIP

By the way, you see that Jefferson catch?

SAin'ts @ Steeeers

Baltimore has Ravens.

Atlanta has Hawks.

'Zona has them Cardinals.

And Pittsburg has,,,

Lolts @ HOLY FUCKING SHIT HOW DOES MCDANIELS HAVE A JOB?

Carsd @ Rims

Lakers 🤝 Rams

Being shit after winning a title

'Boys @ Packpackpack

I should have absolutely obliterated my pocketbook betting on the Packers when news came out about McCarthy arriving at the stadium wearing a Lombardi-esque trench coat.

Finally. McCarthy coaches the Packers to a win.

Charge. @ 9ers

I refuse to believe anyone can accurate declare Jimmy G a good or bad quarterback.

For example, Jimmy GQ is 10-2 when throwing zero touchdowns.

You better watch the fuck out. Jimmy Guapolo is comin to Mexico City next.

Commodes @ Boids

And if that wasn't enough,

Weekly recaps!

LET'S FUCKIN DO THIS

L - 103.76 (6-4) Equitittious Saint Dumbledong

W - 148.54 (4-6) mzarecta

Ahh yes. Of course, what we all saw coming. A god damn fuckin shitpumping of the Dumbledongers.

mza is back to being scary as fuck now that TuAnon and Jonathan Taylor "Thomas" is back and producing. Shit man, they could run JFK Jr at TE and still get wins with this kind of pointage.

Even with Gabe Davis attempting to rig it for the globillsists, mza put a stop to the steal.

W - 183.78 (8-2) The Dakstreet Boys

L - 107.50 (6-4) The Impossible Kid

What the fuck.

Dakstreet, can you just like .. chill the fuck out?

183.78 from your fucking starters. 85.46 from the fuckin bench.

I can appreciate you trying to tone it down with Aiyuk and Ekeler keeping it in the single digits (fucking barely), but what the fuck dude?

What did The Impossible Kid ever do to you?

W - 88.22 (6-4) Flip Flops & Coronas

L - 74.68 (4-6) The Scallywags

What a god damn grind-it-out kind of win. Basically no standout performances, just a couple of heavyweights absolutely blasting each other with the likes of Amari Cooper or Davis Mills.

Kudos to Flip Flops for squeeking out that close win despite havin nothing from Sehlinger.

It may come as a shock, but maybe this 49ers offense isn't a good consistent source of fantasy revenue as one would have thought. Deebs has been suckin as of late, and I don't know what the fuck is wrong with Kittle. Yeah sure, he had a string of solid weeks before the bye week, but fuckin' hell he's sucked for a majority of this season.

Oh shit. The massage rapist guy is coming back next week for Flip Flops, I think.

W - 155.04 (4-6) SCHWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAB

L - 109.16 (9-1) Seyton Manning

Wait.

Holy shit. This was Seyton's first loss!

YOOOO. THE SCHWABSTER. HE PULLS THROUGH.

Sure. You probably have to credit the bye-week for a lot of this win for SCHWAAAAAAAB, but he still had to produce.

And damn, thanks to CeeDee, ASB, and some Foreman guy, this motherfucker god damn brought it. 155. Fuckin' hell. N shit.

W - 107.14 (6-4) 91 Shrimp

L - 52.24 (2-8) I Am The Captain Now

HOLY FUCKIN CHRIST.

Bloodbath yadda yadda blah blah, I always say the same bullshittery when I see a situation like this.

But forreals tho. 52.24 points? Who the fuck do you think you are, me??

Ha ha! I'll be here the whole column, tip your servers.

Nice shit 91 Shrimp. Totally underperformed, but still fish-hooked The Captain's face apart.

L - 108.00 (1-9) Spider 2 Y U do this

W - 122.72 (4-6) Matural Light

Man.

One and nine. Fuckin rough.

I guess I'll go ahead and tip my fuckin cap to Matural Light,

M'atural Light

Fuckin shit. I don't fucking care about this stupid horseshittery. Let's just fuckin laugh at that dumb fuckin psychopath Kari Lake for losing in real life.

Fin.

Yeah yeah yeah, another week, no power rankings. I'll get to those I swear, especially with the playoffs coming in. Maybe I'll make a second post this week or some shit. Hopefully I'm not just blowing smoke up everyone's ass.

I'll also have to do something about that time zone thing. Totally kinda fuckin forgot about that. I have the datum somewhere around here ...

Christ, I've dug myself quite a hole here. At least it's not as bad as the 1-9 hole I have right fucking now, because I'm definitely going to die in there.

Oh well!

Good luck with week 12 everyone! We got ourselves just over a week before Thanksgiving, so I don't know about y'all but I'm at half-mast as we really start hitting the stride for the Holiday season. Much love to you guys, now let's make it to lucky week 13.