regular season - (Page 2)

regular season

A collection of 56 posts

Help, someone pooped my pants

Help, someone pooped my pants

Yeah I ain't got shit to lead off with. Tried to scrape some proverbial shit off my shoe and see if I could get 700-900 words from that, but to no avail. That, it's the second half of our sprint, and I'm busier

How you like them apples?

How you like them apples?

I played a little hookie from work and went apple picking last Friday. And let me tell you: I know a thing or two about apples and apple picking. Shit, I'd consider the region I grew up in as the land of Apple Orchards. With the the birthplace

Hello, I’m Commander Biden. Bite to meet you

Hello, I’m Commander Biden. Bite to meet you

New Hampshah So what'd y'all do last Sunday? You all watch some football? Maybe dabble in a little bit of New Generation New England Futility? Perhaps renewing your membership into the fellowship of the miserable? The day “The Fellowship of The Miserable” was born…It was

Postin like an avalanche comin down the mountain

Postin like an avalanche comin down the mountain

Tim Wakefield The Man I know not everyone is a Red Sox fan. I'm sure plenty of you out there actually kinda sorta hate the Red Sox as an organization and team. Understandable. A lot of us die-hard fans hated them too. Shit, Tom Yawkee was a

Busier than a cat at a laser show

Busier than a cat at a laser show

Preamble It's come to my attention that people have found some discrepancies in a number of comments I've made in my past. Specifically, my rather mild opinion of, "fuck cheese." Many of you may have called into question the integrity of my entire column

Battle of the Rotary Fast Foods

Battle of the Rotary Fast Foods

As per usual, if you ain't interested in whatever dipshit content I happen to have vomit this week, just scroll on down to the NFL Recapulations! Growing up, there was a rotary dubbed, the Ayer Rotary. Well, it goes by a more official name as well: Frederick Carlton

It's easier not to be great

It's easier not to be great

Fuck you, Thor Let me paint the weekend picture for you: It's mid-Friday afternoon, I'm trying to wrap up a bunch of dependency updates while yelling at my computer because fuck you, the tests worked before the update so WHY DON'T THEY KNOW,

Something something Qatari 2600

Something something Qatari 2600

What the fuck I gotta do to get fired around here? All I wanna do is get promoted to customer. For the love of fucking God. Sorry folks, but as you've probably noticed the last 3-4 weeks, my heart is absolutely not fuckin in it. Not sure

Aaaaand USA Lost

Aaaaand USA Lost

Followed by Poland. Stupid fuckin sport. Late Let's say, hypothetically, that you were, for instance, using my keyboard. Now keep up. Let's say that you, yes you, wanted to type up one of these columns. Hypothetically, of course. Now that we have established that you want

It's not rocket appliances

happy thanksgiving

It's not rocket appliances

Gobble Gobble Hey everyone! Hope y'all enjoyed the week and had a mother fuckin awesome Thanksgiving week! Despite the result of the Greatriots game, it was still such a fucking great day of football - one that I barely fucking caught because I was playing the god. Damn. HOST.

Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

Proper Preparation Prevents Piss-Poor Performance

That other football I guess it's getting underway. Oh hell yeah, I'm super excited to continue feeding a monstrously evil capitalist grift of galactic proportions. Wait what is that? They just banned cheering with both hands while in stadiums? OK, as long as I can celebrate

Title for the Week 10 Power Rankings during Week 11

Title for the Week 10 Power Rankings during Week 11

Yeah yeah yeah, I know I just fucking emailed all of you earlier this week. It's just that skipping out on two straight weeks of power rankings left me in a state of near giving a shit. So with this building guilt, I set upon sculpting my content.

Say Pizza to Drugs

Say Pizza to Drugs

In College I Studied Abroad or Two Big fan of that NFL Europe thing. I loved the Amsterdam Admirals, perfect team to play against so I could earn the maximum amount of Madden Cards as I could. But I guess Germany has better singers or some shit, This is UNBELIEVABLE.

Not garbage can't, garbage can

Happy Fuckin Halloween and All Saints Day and Dias de los Muertos! What a god damn trilogy of days. I don't think there's much of anything like it. Speaking of spectacular, check out this incredible performance by our very own Dakstreet Boys, So what severity of

Yeezy come, Yeezy go

Yeezy come, Yeezy go

It's October Luckswing Time! I hear that the month of October is supposedly the most important month of the year for Major League Baseball. Until November, at least. Why am I bringing up America's Pasttime in a column dedicated to Fantastical Football? Well. Because it'

Broncos country, let's writhe!

Broncos country, let's writhe!

Dear Mr. Snyder Sell your team, Coward! Al Michaels calls out Dan Synder to sell the team on live broadcast pic.twitter.com/zF0Ls76xi1 — Main Team (@MainTeamSports2) October 14, 2022 Source Let them fight. Davante Has Earned His Spiked Shoulderpads So like .. I shared that video in the last column,

is this thing on?

is this thing on?

Now. I have a lot of ground to cover. A honeymoon that spanned much of Europe. One that ended up with me returning home with what I hope isn't super super-Spartan strain of Covid. One that had me visiting a couple countries who have contributed so much

Welcome Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals!

Welcome Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals!

Yo. Read this shit you fucker.

We are entering crunchy-snow footstep season

We are entering crunchy-snow footstep season

What a Performance I forget if I've mentioned this shit before, but my favorite Internet trend of last '21 is easily the Herman Cain Award. For those out of the know, it's basically awarded to people who post shit like this, And then most importantly:

Read this, Bozo

Read this, Bozo

Stay off the WEEEEEEEEEEE-duh I'm sick and fucking tired of this ridiculous capitalization of weed. No, I'm not talking about the 18 flavors of weed seltzer that I can buy that somehow take only 15 minutes to kick in, last exactly 298 minutes, and then

Playin' solitaire 'till dawn with a deck of 51

Playin' solitaire 'till dawn with a deck of 51

Thanksgiving Yeah. I should have fuckin bitch n moaned about Thanksgiving and all its fixings in the previous column that I literally fucking published on Thanksgiving 2021. But fuck you, this is now the official Thanksgiving 2021 Recap. Sure, I didn't even get invited to everyone's

Gobble gobble

Belichick n Mayo Farts OK fuck faces, I need to sit with you all and discuss how important good, quality, chemistry is. Whether you're droppin a tab of LSD, enjoying some fine homemade Meth, maybe your team trying to overcome a superior opponent, or just maybe you think

Good god, I'm terrible at titles

Good god, I'm terrible at titles

The Remake Game So this has little to nothing to do with the NFL - but it was something that came to me while watching some dumbass ad for the new Home Alone movie on Disney+ after catching a previous SNL with Kieran McCulkin: Instead of just status-quo remakes, can

Joe Throwgan

Yeah. I ain't got shit to bitch about. Well .. I have plenty on the list: * Rock n Jock sports * Dude you're getting Odell * Kyrie > Q'Aaron * How much you all rule But do I have the capacity to write it down? GAMES ATLIENS @ NO

Homeopathetic Immunizations

Homeopathetic Immunizations

All righty, just a little reminder for everyone: Hmm. Other than the overall stability of this god damn fuckin framework that's seemingly holding these columns together with fucking scotch-tape, I'd say I don't have too much else to bitch about this week. I