2022

Leaded Gasoline Has Destroyed This Once Great Nation

Enemy of the State Yo. This Brett Favre thing is fucking wild. He's quite possibly the shittiest, scummiest, most disgusting thing that's ever come out of Mississippi: and that state has literal poop-coffee coming from faucets in Jackson. Before jumping into any more, here's

2022

Welcome Guys, Gals, and Non-Binary Pals!

Yo. Read this shit you fucker.

2021

Au Reservoir

Yeah. I ain't got shit for this one outside maybe a meme or two, Football happened. Actually, two weeks of football happened: week 17 and a game or two on Saturday from week 18 before I finally get this shit out. My bad. It's 2022 and

2021

This guy right here, boom.

Madden I'll start 'er off with the Great, Bill Belichick who does an incredible job speaking about Mr. John Madden: “We all set out to try to have a good professional career, and John had about five of them.” Bill Belichick’s full remarks on John Madden.

week 15

Happiest of Holidays Everyone

The reporters in Foxborough All skootered and skittered 'The Grump is no more!' The reporters all Twittered. Some were not sure They seemed quite addled They still remembered "On to Seattle" To the folks in the media, A bone he had tossed, When he found out

playoffs

It has begun.

Hey there everyone! I'm just dropping in to share the current Postseason Bracket for folks to print out, setup inside their fireplace, then burn it to the fucking ground - ensuring at least one full year of good fantasy luck. Enjoy! I'll be doing my best

2021

We are entering crunchy-snow footstep season

What a Performance I forget if I've mentioned this shit before, but my favorite Internet trend of last '21 is easily the Herman Cain Award. For those out of the know, it's basically awarded to people who post shit like this, And then most importantly:

2021

Read this, Bozo

Stay off the WEEEEEEEEEEE-duh I'm sick and fucking tired of this ridiculous capitalization of weed. No, I'm not talking about the 18 flavors of weed seltzer that I can buy that somehow take only 15 minutes to kick in, last exactly 298 minutes, and then it&

2021

Playin' solitaire 'till dawn with a deck of 51

Thanksgiving Yeah. I should have fuckin bitch n moaned about Thanksgiving and all its fixings in the previous column that I literally fucking published on Thanksgiving 2021. But fuck you, this is now the official Thanksgiving 2021 Recap. Sure, I didn't even get invited to everyone's

2021

Gobble gobble

Belichick n Mayo Farts OK fuck faces, I need to sit with you all and discuss how important good, quality, chemistry is. Whether you're droppin a tab of LSD, enjoying some fine homemade Meth, maybe your team trying to overcome a superior opponent, or just maybe you think

2021

Good god, I'm terrible at titles

The Remake Game So this has little to nothing to do with the NFL - but it was something that came to me while watching some dumbass ad for the new Home Alone movie on Disney+ after catching a previous SNL with Kieran McCulkin: Instead of just status-quo remakes, can

2021

Joe Throwgan

Yeah. I ain't got shit to bitch about. Well .. I have plenty on the list: * Rock n Jock sports * Dude you're getting Odell * Kyrie > Q'Aaron * How much you all rule But do I have the capacity to write it down? GAMES ATLIENS @ NO

2021

Homeopathetic Immunizations

All righty, just a little reminder for everyone: Hmm. Other than the overall stability of this god damn fuckin framework that's seemingly holding these columns together with fucking scotch-tape, I'd say I don't have too much else to bitch about this week. I guess

week 7

Week Sev-uuuuuuuuuuuhn

What a horse-shit of a Sunday of National Football League NFL League Games. Like. It was so fucking terrible I can't believe it. We had six fuckin teams on bye. And then we had maybe one close matchup. Really the only real exciting thing was ahhhh .. the Bengals?

2021

Don't yuck his yum

First things first, last week I may have gone off the deep end due to a certain dairy distaste What's Cookin, Good Lookin? For this Sunday, I'm going with the instant pot chicken noodle soup. It's so fucking simple, I made it on Sunday.

2021

C eh, N eh, D eh

Sup fuckos. Look who scrounged up a fuckin writeup. No, it's not because I have any sort of addiction to the tens of eyeballs of attention these columns receive. I'm simply trying to be consistent with all things Fantasy Football. Whether it's my teams

2021

Every time a woman cries, a Republican gets their wings

Free Advertising So in case people didn't know, I've been a fan of sharing highlights and content for years now. I'd actually like to think we all like dabbling in content proliferation. It's satisfying to share something people enjoy, it's

2021

Wake me when September ends

Gambling and shit So some horseshit news came across the wire involving the fake Adarn Schefter and some Kraft mac jones n cheese guy joined up with another horseshit gambling platform. Now. Don't get me wrong - a rising tide lifts all ships - I like competition in

2021

That was a fun, one-game winning streak

[Extremely Karl Urban in The Boys voice] Weww, weww, weww, lookit you cheeky cunts. I told you all. Every. Single. One of you. This new taunting rule will absolutely ruin this league. Here are some of the taunting penalties called on Sunday. This stuff is a disaster. It has to

2021

SHOW ME THE MOONEY

Here. We. Fuckin. Oh shit, Ekeler already scored? Oh fuckin' hell I didn't even have games on ye-. Jimmy GQ just fumbled on the snap?? AHH FUCK STOP. SLOW DOWN. I HAVEN'T PROPERLY STRETCHED BEFORE WATCHING. I'M SO BEHIND. OH FUCKIN HELL. Thursday

site update

Sandbox time

Don't mind me, I'm trying to see why the fuck that stupid leading image won't fucking save to the god damn disk space that I haven't paid one fuckin cent for. With any luck the image that leads this column won'

2021

Insert clever title here

Welp. Shit's kinda fucked for the Natty Football League Times Picayune. Don't worry - I have all my actual writeups backed up locally. But I only have database backups as far back as November 2020. So the playoff run and my finished work is still kinda

2021

Welcome back everybody

Yeah. So. I got good news and bad news. The good news We're back! I got the site up - the URL is temporary for now while I work out the kinks and get this thing broken in for my own personal tastes. Pretty pumped, the latest version